What do you remember from five decades ago?

1. “I gave my love a cherry
   That had no stone…..
   I gave my love a chicken
   That had no bone
   I gave my love a story.…”
   
   The preceding lyrics, when sung, prompted:

1. Reuben Kinkaid to fall in love with Shirley Partridge
2. Bluto to smash a guitar against the wall during a Delta House toga party
3. Florida Evans to stop paying for JJ’s singing lessons
4. The awarding of the Grammy to Electric Light Orchestra in 1975
5. A love-sick, tone-deaf kidnapper to abduct Sabrina Duncan on “Charlie’s Angels”

2. When Roman Stripe proclaimed in a national space advertisement, “We make pantyhose for….” They were referring to whom:

1. Richard Raskind, a.k.a. Dr. Renee Richards
2. Rod Stewart
3. Jaclyn Smith
4. Joe Namath
5. David Cassidy

3. Jose Eber’s claim to fame:

1. Bo Derek’s strands of long, knotted braids and colorful beads.
2. Cher’s greasy, stringy, black, cover-the-hipbone mane
3. Rachel Welch’s dye jobs
4. Phyllis Diller’s platinum blond wigs
5. Farrah Fawcett’s winged and flipped hair

4. Where can the following be found: Fold-Ins, Spy vs. Spy, Don Martin Department, the Lighter Side of:

1. Sensurround is to Earthquake
2. Charlie is to his Angels
3. Leather and studs are to the Rocky Horror Picture Show
4. The Verrazano Narrows is to Saturday Night Fever
5. The Great Gazoo is to Fred Flintstone

5. The Tallahatchee is to the Ode to Billy Joe as:

1. Ms.
2. Mad
3. The Pentagon Papers
4. Seventeen
5. Hustler

6. The initials of the Jackson 5’s fan magazine, TcB!, stood for:

1. The Cash Box!
2. Tito Can Boff!
3. The Care Bears!
4. Too Cool Bubba!
5. Takin’ Care of Business!

7. The first name of Sonny and Cher’s first and only child:

1. Cherokee Nation
2. B. Rob Camilletti
3. Chastity
4. Moon Unit
5. Gypsie

8. The Hardy Boys female counterpart:

1. Julie McCoy, your cruise director
2. Jaime Sommers, the Bionic Woman
3. Josie of “Josie and the Pussycats”
4. Nancy Drew
5. Dawn of “Tony Orlando and Dawn”

9. From the Seventies TV reruns: In the ending scenes of “The Flintstones,” when Fred, Wilma, and pets pull up to a drive-in restaurant, what does a waitress bring to the side of the car (and tips the car on its side)?

1. A side of barbecued brontosaurus ribs
2. The stone tablet menu
3. A big letter “C”
4. A beach chair
5. Beats the hell outta me

10. Where did the characters from “The Bobby Sherman Show” make their musical debut appearance?

1. “The Love Boat”
2. “The Partridge Family”
3. “Sonny & Cher”
4. “The Merv Griffin Show”
5. “The Bobby Sherman Show”

11. Actress who played Alice on “The Brady Bunch”?

1. Alice B. Toklas
2. Ann B. Davis
3. Aunt Bea
4. Susan B. Anthony
5. Johnny B. Goode

12. Sledge: instantly rids you of dust and grime and furniture.
    Grass Wax: Grass and lawn cleaner for the slickest lawn in town!
    Poopsie: For those who are young.
    Ajerx: The do-nothing cleanser. You gotta be a jerk to use it.
    
    The preceding are examples of:

1. Failed products of a consumer goods company, costing 14 people their jobs
2. Subliminal messages found in television advertisements
3. Wacky Pack stickers
4. Barbie’s groceries for her little, pink plastic refrigerator.
5. Phony products from “Saturday Night Live” commercials

13. A teenage tennis star said to be the next Chris Everet?

1. Yvonne Goolagong
2. Martina Navratilova
3. Renee Richards
4. Bobby Riggs
5. Tracy Austin

14. Name the most horrifying natural disaster from the Seventies:

1. A tidal wave capsizing a cruise ship
2. An earthquake destroying Los Angeles
3. A meteor crashing in to New York City
4. A great white shark terrorizing the Long Island resort town, Amity
5. Phyllis Diller before her face lift

15. The object shown here is:

1. A malfunctioning part in Skylab
2. An IUD
3. A lava lamp
4. A blow-dryer used to create the Dorothy Hamill “wedge” hairstyle
5. A bong

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Mix and Match

Brady Bunch. Match the star with the Brady

KISS. Match the members of KISS with the appropriate attributes.

Charlie’s Angels. Match the star with the Angel.

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SAT Answers

For each correct answer, give yourself a point:

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If you scored 26 – 33 points

Congratulations. Either you cheated and looked at the answers (which we hope you have done for your sake) or you have some extremely deep-rooted problems and should seek psychiatric counseling. You know (and remember) too much. You are one scary dude or dudette. You fall under the classification of WALDO (We Actually Loved DiscO). Did you belong to the Kiss Army? Did you wear Hush Puppies or Krinkles? Did you allow your moods to swing with the changing colors of a ring? Did you know by heart the words to every theme song from Aaron Spelling television programs?

If you scored 20-25 points

You are average. A typical Seventies refugee. What more can be said about you?

If you scored below 20 points

Did you take mind-altering substances during the Seventies? Smoke a few “bones” behind the school gymnasium? Drink cases of Schlitz in the woods behind the school? Break into your parent’s medicine cabinet and take your mother’s birth control pills when you thought you were taking her valium? Sniff model plane liquid cement? PCP? Dead, non-regenerative brain cells are the only way we can explain your performance. But take heart, you’re the sanest of us all. You forgot the trivial and hopefully remembered the important.

This quiz is from, Stuck in the Seventies by Scott Mathews, Jay Kerness, Tamara Nikuradse, Jay Steele, & Greg White. Bonus Books Publishers, 1991.